Heart Throbs Kuwait ke Malayalam FM Radio se Nashr hone wala ek har dil aziz program hai. Pichle dino programer ne ek bada hi anokha mawad cheera tha. Usne sam'een se poocha tha "Aap apni zindagi ke aakhri ayaam (retirement ke baad ki zindagi) kahan aur kis ke sang guzarna pasand karenge?" Is bare mein bohot sare logon ne apne khayalat ka izhar kiya magar un mein se ek jawab be ikhtiyar meri aankhon ko nam kar gaya. Caller ka naam Hafsah tha. Woh ek maeemar khatoon hai. Shauhar ke intiqal ke baad guzishta solah barson se Kuwait mein muqeem hai. Char betiyon mein se teen ka to ghar basa chuki hai. Ek ladki is khoobsurat ghari ke intezar mein hai. Is khatoon ka apna koi ghar nahi hai. Uski sari jama poonji to bachiyon ki taleem aur unki shadiyon mein kharch ho chuki hai. Us ka jawab bara hi dilsuz tha. Woh keh rahi thi "Meri arzoo ab bas yahi hai ke chhoti ko byah dene ke baad yahan se chali jaun aur kisi vardhaashar (old house) mein apni zindagi ke aakhri ayaam is tarah bata dun ke kisi ko mujh se koi shikayat na reh jaye." Arse pehle ek Pakistani buzurg ne mujhe phone kiya aur mulaqat ke liye waqt manga. Jab un se mulaqat hui to woh apne aansuon par qabu na pa sake. Woh ek baap ki hesiyat se apne na-farman bete ki shikayat le kar pahuche the. Woh beta jise maan baap ne apni aulad mein sab se zyada laad pyaar se pala aur nazoo numa mein parwaan charhaya. Apni sakat bhala behtar taleem dilane ki koshish ki. Jab woh rozi roti kamane ke laiq bana to Kuwait ki ek namwar company mein naukri ke liye visa nikalwaya. Shadi tak sab kuch theek chal raha tha. Ab ek ladki biwi ban kar zindagi mein kya aayi ke us ke liye maan baap kuch bhi nahi rahe the. Hasraton ka mara baap har pal sard aahen bharta hai goya zaban hal se keh raha ho ke Subah ko aahen bhar lenge hum, raat ko naale kar lenge hum Mast raho tum, hal mein apne tum ban kya hum ji na sakenge!? Aur maan to aakhir maan hai, har aahat par darwaze par nazarain jumadiyat hai ke subah ka bhoola sham ko laut to nahi aya. Sare rishte waqt ki mojon ke sath behe gaye Zindagi ki bheer mein hum tum akelay reh gaye Qasmein, wade, pyar, chahat aur wafao ka bharam Reet ki deewarein the so dhethe dhethe dha gaye Mere ek aziz Kuwait mein mojood ek sahibzade ka waqia suna rahe the, woh aur us ki hamsheer bachpan hi mein yateem ho chuke the. Magar maan ne unhe kabhi baap ki kami ka ehsas nahi hone diya tha. Us ki maan ghar ghar jakar mehnat mazdoori karti aur apne bachon ki bhook mitati thi. Woh un ki aankhon ko mustaqbil ke haseen sapne hi nahi dikhathi thi balkay us ki taabeer ke liye az khud koshan rehti thi. Usne unhe taleem dilwai aur us laiq banaya ke woh duniya mein sar utha kar ji sakein. Aaj us ke dono bachay apne bal bachon semeet Kuwait mein muqeem hain. Maan bhi yahan aayi hui hai. Magar ab maan bete ke rishte mein darar par chuki hai. Maan beti ke ghar reh rahi hai. Mahinon se us ne apni maan ki soorat nahi dekhi hai. Woh ab ek bete se zyada kisi ke shauhar hone ka role zyada nibhata hai. Maan ne us ke liye samajh mein sar utha kar jeene ke sapne dekhe the. Magar us ne usi sar ko ek aurat ke aage kham kiya hua hai. Woh jitna "farmabardar" shauhar hai utna hi "na-farman" hai.Ta bana hua hai. Bachon ke siwa is maan ka is duniya mein koi bhi nahi hai. Woh jaise intezar mein hai ke us ka beta aayega aur use apne ghar le jayega. Ek woh hain jinhain koi paiman-e-wafa yaad nahi Ek hum hain jinhain koi jafa yaad nahi Yeh teen waqeat to sirf ek aaina hai hamare mojudah muasharti nizaam ka jahan maan baap apna maqam khote jarahay hain. Information technology ke is dor mein walidain aur aulad ka rishta naqabil yaqeen had tak ta'attul ka shikar ho chuka hai. Taleem yafta tabqa mein is ka tanasub auron se kahin zyada hai. Ek taraf bachay graduate ban kar IT, BT mein naam kama rahe hain aur unchi naukriyon ki talash mein mulk o bahar mulk mein moqeem hain to doosri janib un ki khatar apni jawani, chain, sukoon, aram sab kuch qurban karne wale un ke walidain ki zindagi musibat bani hui hai. Shayad yeh kehna durust hoga ke bachay software banate jarahay hain aur un ke walidain hard ware. Maan baap ke sath bachon ka jarahana aur zulmana sulook is had tak barh chuka hai ke boorhe, natawan aur kamzor maan baap be sahara hokar dar dar ki thokar khatay hain ya apni qismat par anso bahaate hue kisi warda sharam ki kunj tanhai mein panah lete hain. Aulad khud ko update karne ke chakar mein apne hi maan baap ko outdated samajhne lagti hai. Barson pehle jab hum ne is duniya mein aankhein kholi to hamari zindagi ki khatir apni jaan khatre mein dalne wali hamari 'maan' thi. Af kitni takleefon ke baad us ne hamein janam diya tha. Aur jab tak hum us ke peet mein the to nidaal hi to ho gayi thi woh. Apne tan ka khoon noch noch kar pila diya tha us ne. Hamari jaan mein jaan aajaye, is ke liye pal pal apni jaan halakat mein dal aai thi woh. Kamzoron natawan to woh pehle se thi magar jab tak hamein jahan-e rang o bu ka deedar karati, halkan hi ho chuki thi woh tabhi to Allah miyan farmate hain 'aur haqiqat yeh hai ke hum ne insaan ko apne walidain ke haqooq pehchannay ki khud taqeed ki hai. Is ki maan ne zaeef par zaeef uthakar usay apne peet mein rakh aur do saal us ka doodh chhutne mein lage. (Isi liye hum ne us ko yeh naseehat ki ke) mera shukr kar aur apne walidain ka shukr baja la, meri hi taraf tujhe palatna hai.' (Surah Luqman) Aur Surah Al-Ahqaf mein farmaya 'hum ne insaan ko hidayat ki ke woh apne walidain ke sath nek bartao kare' is ki maan ne mushqat uthakar usay peet mein rakhha' aur mushqat uthakar hi us ko jana' aur us ke hamal aur doodh chhadane mein tees mahinay lage. Maan aur bachon ka rishta yeh kitna mazboot rishta hota hai. 'Naaf' har insaan ke peet mein hoti hai. Marte dam tak rahm-e-madar mein kate ayyam ki woh hamein yaad dilati hai. Yahi se 'maan' se hamare rishte ki nooat bhi numaya hoti hai. Bachpan mein jab hum rote the to maan ka cheen khatam hota tha. Jab hum bhook se balakte the to maan apni bhook bhala kar humein khilati pilati thi. Is lamhe ki us ki khushi ki hum kon lafzon se ta'bir kar sakte hain? Jab hum 'gandagi' karte to na us ke peshani par bal parta tha aur na use saaf karne mein usay koi pareshani hoti thi. Humain sulate sulate na jane kitni raatein usay jaag jaag kar guzarna parrti thi. Humain seekh pohanchane ki arzoo mein na jane kitne dukh us ne hans hans kar jhele hain.Agar hum kabhi beemar hote to bilaon ko kusti maan ke masoom dil mein hamare liye kitni mohabbat hoti hai, is ka kon andaaza laga sakta hai? Aur jab hum kuch baray ho jaye aur chalne phirne ke qabil banay to hum aksar bahar rehne ki koshish karte. Hum jab tak bahar rehte maan ka dil bhi bahar hi atka rehta tha. Jab hum school jate ya kahin bahar jate to apne dil mein hazaron andeshe palne wali maan hamari waapsi ki raah mein aankh bichhakar baith jaati thi. Apni betiyon ki shadi, unke kapray, unke zevarat aur unke mustaqbil ke bare mein, maan salon tak khayal hi khayal mein sapne dekhti hai. Aur jab beta kisi ladki ko byaah laata hai to apni bahu ko khush karne ke bahane talash karne wali maan ke andron mein kaun jaane ke kiya jazbaat hote hain. Magar biwi ko pakar, apne bachon mein uljhe kar apni hi maan se roogardani karne wale bete se barh kar is roye zameen par aur kaun badnaseeb ho sakta hai? Hamare maan baap woh jinhon ne apne khuda se hamari zindagiyan mangi, jin ki aankhein hamari firaqat par ashkbaar hui, hamare haseen mustaqbil ke liye khwab dekhte dekhte unhone apni hazaron khwahishon ka gala ghont diya bachpan mein hamari nanhi nanhi arzooon ke liye aur baray hone ke baad hamari badi badi aashaoon ki takmeel ke liye apni sakht se zyada mehnat karne wale thay hamare maan baap. Kal jinhon ne hamara bojh uthaya tha aaj wahi maan baap hamare liye bojh banay hue hain. Kal unhone hamari zindagi ke liye apni zindagi daav par laga di thi aur aaj woh kamzor aur beemar hain to hum unki maut ki tamanna kar kar rahe hain. Kal hamare chehre par muskurane ke liye woh chhip chhip kar aansu bahaate thay aur aaj un ke saath hamari bad sulooki par rote rote un ke aansu khushk ho chuke hain. Kal woh hamare liye shajar saya daar thay aur aaj wahi maan baap sookhe darakht ki manind sookhta jaan ho chuke hain. Kal jin se ghar bhar mein chehl pahl rehti thi aaj halat ne un ke honthon par mohar-e-sukoot laga di hai. Zindagi ki shahraah se hat kar be qeemat aur be wazan ghar ke kisi kone mein pade rehne par unhe majboor kiya gaya hai. Yeh nojawan, sare logon mein us ke charche hain. Har ek se muskurake milta hai. Doston ki mehfil mein yeh shama mehfil bana rehta hai. Magar us ke paas apne boodhe maan baap se kehne ko koi baat hi nahi hoti! Un ke saath batane ke liye usay lamha bhar ki bhi fursat nahi hai mahaz us liye us ne unhe apne ghar mein rakha hai ke "warna log kya kahenge?" Zindagi ke 'chhote bade' amoor mein faisla lene se pehle yeh har kisi se mashwara karta hai. Har aire ghair se is mawad par guftagu karta hai. Sab ki 'shab kamnaon' se apne iradon ko amal ka roop deta hai magar maan baap ko is ki in sarguzishton ki koi shiddat bad nahi milti. Is ke mamlat mein 'dakhil andazi' ki unhe sara se koi 'ijazat' hi nahi hoti. Agar woh khudbarh kar is ke kisi kaam mein koi sajawal dete hain to phir 'qayamat' hi khadi hojati hai. Un par 'bijliyan' toot padti hain. Aur kuch is tarah woh unhe khamosh kar deta hai ke "aap se mein ne koi mashwara nahi poocha hai" "mujhe sikhane ki koi zaroorat nahi" "mein apna acha bura khud samajhta hoon, mujhe aap ki naseehaton ki chandani zaroorat nahi". Woh do majboor makhlooq yeh gustakhiyaan sunte hain aur aansu pee kar reh jaate hain. Yeh shakhs pardYeS mein rehta hai. Gharelo halat jab na gufta be the to maa baap ne badi koshishon ke baad use samundar paar mulk bheja ke kama kar unka sahara banay ga. Sahibzade bhi bade 'ehsaan shinas' nikle! Saat saal tak palat kar nahi dekha. Yeh janne ki kabhi koshish nahi ki ke us ke 'maan baap' kis halat mein hain. Us ki pardes yatra se un ke masaail kya kam hote ke yeh us ke faraq mein aur boodhe hogaye. Ab us ki shadi hochuki hai. Ab ki bar pardes pahunchay saal bhi pura nahi hota aur us ka dil ud kar watan jana chahta hai! Pardes mein hum ne aise bhi 'mardoon' ko dekha hai jo apni biwi bachon se phone mein ghanton kisar karte hain magar apne maa baap ke dil ke ahwal poochne ke liye un ke paas do minute bhi nahi hote. Un ka mobile usi waqt discharge hojata hai. Kitni umeedon se maa baap ladke ki shadi karate hain. Unhein kaise pata hota ke un ka 'laadla' anqareeb unhein aane wali dulhan ki 'ghulami' mein dene wala hai. Unhein kya khabar hoti ke yeh 'mohini surat' ki 'nazuk' si ladki ek din un ke ghar ki 'dictator' ban jayegi aur unki 'aankh katarah' itni aasani se us ki jadu ka shikar hojayega ke apne hi maa baap ki zindagi ajiran bana dega? Maa baap ko bees saal lagte hain us ko 'insaan' banane mein aur woh 'aurat' bees roz hi mein us ki 'insaniyat' ki dhijian bikhair deti hai. Bura ho maghrabi tarz muashrat ka ke us ne hamari pehchan hi khatam kardi hai. Hamare paas 'khandaan' maa baap, bhai behan, aur biwi bachon par mushtamil hota tha. Agar dada dadi, nana nani ba hayaat hon to yeh bhi usi khandaan ka hissa hote. Ab 'family' se maqsad sirf biwi aur bachay hote hain. Maa baap bhi us 'family' ka part nahi ban sakte. Ek shakhs ne Rasool Allahﷺ ki khidmat mein hazir hokar arz kiya: "Aye Allah ke Rasool! Mere husn e suhbat ka sab se zyada haq daar kaun hai?" Aap ne farmaya: "Teri maa" Us ne arz kiya: Phir kaun? Aap ne farmaya: "Teri maa" Us ne arz kiya: Phir kaun? Aap ne farmaya: "Teri maa" Us ne arz kiya: Phir kaun? Aap ne farmaya: "Tera baap" (Bukhari, Muslim) Ek aur riwayat mein hai ke aap ne farmaya: "Teri maa, phir teri maa, phir teri maa, phir tera baap, phir jo shakhs zyada qareeb hai, woh usi qadar zyada mustahiq hai." (Muslim) Is hadees ki roshni mein is 'family' ka muqabla kijiye jo hamare samaj mein rawaj parha hua hai aur jisme maa baap ko koi haq hi hasil nahi hai. Haqooq ki adayegi mein hum ne ulta hisab shuru kiya hua hai. Yahan pehla number biwi ka hota hai phir bachon ka aur phir dosron ka husn suhbah ki baat aur hai yahan to shadi ke baad biwi ki baaton mein aakar hum na maa baap ke saath rehna chahte aur na unhein apne paas rakhna hi chahte hain. Hum Musalman hain. Maa baap ke saath husn sulook hamare liye sirf ek samaji zaroorat nahi hai balke rab ke hukm ke saath hi woh hamara mazhabi farz ban chuka hai. Un ki na farmani se hum rab ki nigaahon mein gunahgaar hojate hain.Gunah bhi woh jise kaba'ir mein shumar kiya gaya hai. Us ki khushnoodi un ki khushnoodi ke saath mashroot hai. Maa baap ko naraz karnay se woh bhi naraz hojata hai. Aur jis se woh naraz ho us ki khairiyat ki kahan se zamaanat mil sakti hai? Hamare liye Rab ka hukam hai ke "tum us ke siwa kisi ki ibadat na karo, waldain ke saath nek sulook karo. Agar tumhare paas un mein se koi ek, ya dono, boodhe hokar rehain to unhe af tak na kaho, na unhe jhatak kar jawab do, balkay un se ihteram ke saath baat karo, aur narmi aur raham ke saath un ke samne jhuk kar raho, aur dua kiya karo ke 'parwardigar, un par rahem farma jis tarah unhone rahmat aur shafqat ke saath mujhe bachpan mein palatha'. Tumhara Rab khoob janta hai ke tumhare dilon mein kya hai. Agar tum saleh ban kar raho to woh aise sab logon ke liye darguzar karne wala hai jo apne qasoor par mutanibah hokar bandagi ki rawaye ki taraf palat aaye." (Bani Israil: 23:25) Shayad hum bhool chuke hain ke jannat aur dozakh ka rasta maa baap se hokar guzarta hai. Ek sahabi Rasool Allah ke paas tashreef late hain aur aap se kehte hain "Aye Allah ke Rasool! Main ne aap ke sang jihad mein shareek hone ki niyat ki hai. Aap mujhe kya mashwara denge?" Aap ne daryaft kiya "Kya teri maan (zinda) hai?" Unhone kaha "Ji haan" Aap ne farmaya "To phir us ke saath raho ke jannat us ke qadmon ke neeche hai." (Nisai ki riwayat se) Ek baar pyare Nabi ne sahaba ki mehfil mein farmaya "Us ki naak khak mein mil gayi (yaani woh barbad ho gaya)! Aap ne teen baar un alfaaz ko dohraya. Sahaba ne arz kiya "Woh (badnaseeb) kaun hai aye Allah ke Rasool?" Aap ne farmaya "Jis ne apne maan baap, dono ya un mein se ek ko un ke burhape mein pa liya magar phir bhi (un ki khidmat o khatar dari na kar ke) jannat se mehroom raha." (Sahih Muslim ki riwayat se) (Shukriya, Mahnama Masbah, Kuwait)